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Learning English text in narrative, news item, descriptive, spoof, hortatory, review, and other types with generic structure and language features

A man wanted to get the best and most defective weight loss program so he called a company and ordered a 5-day, 10 lb. weight loss program.

The next day, there’s a knocked on the door and there stand before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe. She dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes. She introduced herself as a representative of the weight loss company. A sign was around her neck. The sign read, “If you can catch me, you can have me.” So without a second thought, he took off after her. However, a few miles later huffing and puffing, he finally gave up. The next four days, the same girl showed up for and the same thing happened. On the fifth day, he weighed himself and was delighted to find he had lost 10 lbs. as promised.

He felt satisfied and called the company and ordered the 5-day/20 pound program.The next day, there was a knock at the door and there stand the most stunning and beautiful woman he had ever seen in his life. She was wearing nothing but Reebok running shoes. The sign around her neck that read, “If you catch me you can have me.” Well, he was out the door after her like a shot. This girl was in excellent shape and he did his best, but no such luck. So for the next four days, the same routine happened with him gradually getting in better and better shape. Much to his delight on the fifth day when he weighed himself, he discovered that he had lost another 20 lbs. as promised. Again he felt satisfied with that program.

Then he decided to go for broke and called the company to order the 7-day/50 pound program. “Are you sure?” asks the representative on the phone. “This is our most rigorous program.” He replied;”Absolutely,I haven’t felt this good in years.” So the next day there was a knock at the door. When he opened it he finds a huge muscular guy standing there wearing nothing but pink running shoes. The sign around his neck that read,”If I catch you, you are mine!!!”

This example of funny spoof story is taken from onlyfunnystories.com

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